Stuck With The Likes Of You
by That One Apologue
Summary: You could say it's deja' vu for one Jeff Hardy when he and a group of elite WWE superstars find themselves locked in the most famous arena in World Wrestling Entertainment; Madison Square Garden. Sequel to "What's The Worst That Could Happen."
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Stuck With The Likes Of You

**Author:** Jessie/Tainted Hollywood Diva

**Pairings:** Torrie Wilson/Johnny Nitro, Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho, Dawn Marie/Edge, Stacy Keibler/Jeff Hardy, Ashley Massaro/Matt Hardy, Melina Perez/Randy Orton, Possible Lita/Christian or Batista

**Disclaimer:** As Always, I Own No One.

**Distribution:** Ask First.

**Rating:** PG-13, Could Change

**Summary:** You could say it's deja' vu for one Jeff Hardy when he and a group of elite WWE superstars find themselves locked in the most famous arena in World Wrestling Entertainment.. Madison Square Garden that is.

**Notes:** Yep, this be the sequel to "What's The Worst That Could Happen?". You don't need to read the first one as it was only a dream.. Also all cast that is currently not with the WWE is for this story, alright? Matt & Lita broke up just after Lita returned from her neck surgery - thus there was no Edge/Lita.

**Characters..**

_Raw:_ Torrie Wilson, Trish Stratus, Mickie James, Lita, Maria, Melina Perez, Johnny Nitro, Randy Orton, John Cena, Carlito, Triple H, Matt Striker, Shawn Michaels

_Smackdown!:_ Candice Michelle, Christy Hemme, Ashley Massaro, Stacy Keibler, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Batista, Chris Benoit, Edge, Rey Mysterio

_ECW:_ Kelly, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Beulah, Joey Mercury, Tommy Dreamer, Chris Jericho, Christian, Kurt Angle, Test

**Chapter One**

Having been at the wrong place at the wrong time they were either caught in traffic, or falling asleep during the single most important conference of the year.. Superstars from all three programs - Raw, Smackdown!, ECW - were seated in the temporarily unoccupied seats in the arena. Vincent Kennedy McMahon standing in the center of the ring along with his son Shane McMahon, the pair currently looking over the script, nodding and making note of a few changes as they did so. It wasn't until the elder McMahon looked up did he notice that a good proportion of his popular superstars weren't present. He shook his head, glancing over at Chris Jericho to frown in utter disgust, grabbing the microphone out of Shane's hands as he face turned that brilliant shade of red.

"CHRIS JERICHO!" Vince bellowed harshly, causing the other man to jerk up out of his sleep with a panicky look upon his face. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing? Sleeping in the middle of a meeting like this! I 'ought to fire your ass!"

Jericho yawned, obviously unfazed by Vince's threat as he gestured around himself, raising an eyebrow at the elder man.

"Are you going to fire all the people who aren't here yet? Christian, Tommy, Masters, Carlito, Orton, Cena...?" Jericho smirked as he stretched out both his arms and his legs. "You should just be glad I'm even here!"

Vince scowled, mocking Jericho's expression as his anger heightened a bit, Kurt and Benoit glared at Jericho for a moment with frowns, neither really wanting to see the man who was once called a creative genius get fired on his first night back.

"Don't you tell me how I should feel! To be quite honest I'm pissed off! You being an asshole isn't helping things!" Vince snapped, glancing over the group of superstars with disgust. "In fact, someone might even get fired tonight! That's right! Fired! Now you shut up and wait for the others or else you're going to be fired! And anyone else who dares go to sleep will be fired too! How do you like that?"

Everyone remained silent, although that didn't stop them for silently thanking Jericho and his big mouth for pissing Vince off even more. To be honest, it depended who you were when it came to Vince. You could be treated like a king or treated like a slob. You just had to have the talent, dedication and in some cases connections. However when it came to being late Vince couldn't give a damn who it was, when he was in a bad mood anyone could get fired. Yet when a rather large group of superstars emerged through the doors and ran down the stairs to where they were supposed to be sitting Vince's face went a deep shade of red, again he took it upon himself to yell into the microphone. Asking for an explanation that only John Cena would dare to give..

"Well, ya see sir.. Lita was giving pretty boy head, I told her not to sir, but she wouldn't stop, and we just 'bout got into an accident too!" John exclaimed, earning nothing close to a smile from Vince as he did so. "And then there was this loud mouth asshole next to us who wouldn't shut up, sir! He cranked his rap music up, caused some type of a scene and believe it or not pretty boy over 'ere had the guts to say that rap was violent! That guy almost killed him."

The dark haired wrestler received a slap to the back of head for his so-called explanation, "Cena! How many times do I have to tell you! When you want to blame someone for doing some sort of sexual act, make sure they don't have a girlfriend!"

"Well, I couldn't have done that! Only other guy who was in the car was me and who the fuck would believe that Mel and Li went at it in a car? Although, I'd pay some pretty good money to see that." John stated with a smirk, winking at the two divas.

"If you're done making up stories, Cena, I'd like to get to the meeting!" Vince interrupted quickly, a frown on his face as he glanced over the script a moment. "Well, you all got the scripts, you read over them I hope.. So you all know that tonight Christian is going to win the title back from Dreamer in the triple threat match tonight. To add to the match - this was not in the script - I'm going to toss in a guest referee. Now since Beulah is going to be at ringside I figured we'd have Dawn Marie as ref. Beulah, Dawn.. You may get a bit physical."

Both divas nodded, sparing glances at Christian, Tommy and Joey as they had done so. All three men shrugging their shoulders lightly, as if to say that they didn't mind the change in their match. A smile touched Vince's lips for a moment before he went onto the women's championship match, announcing that it would be Melina who won the title from Torrie. By the time they got through all the match changes, most of the titles had switched hands and almost everyone was pleased with their spots for that night, only person who seemed to have any problems with it was Jericho, who was going to be dropped out of a title match and placed in a normal match with Shelton Benjamin and Matt Striker. However, he didn't dare complain after he had ticked Vince off earlier with his falling sleep.

**.xxx later that night**

Once the main event was all said and done an elite group of superstars were ordered to go to the ring for an after-show meeting, in the note they had each received they were told to wait until the crowd cleared out before they met Vince in the ring. After a good half an hour a group of thirty something superstars and divas found themselves hanging out in the ringside area, waiting for Mr. McMahon to show. While they waited a few of the guys took on the task of messing around in the ring, starting up a six man tag team match, a few minutes into the match two of the girls decided to play valet and cheer on the guys. Whilst the others all sat and watched, just a bit entertained as Randy, John and Carlito took on Christian, Jericho and Batista, while Benoit played referee, Melina and Christy playing valets for their select teams.

"You know, if I wasn't mistaken I'd say this is the best match I've ever seen." Lita stated with a smirk.

Trish rolled her eyes as she shifted in her seat, "That's only because Dave keeps beating on John.. Why do you two hate each other so much?"

"I don't know," Lita shrugged as she leaned forward a bit. "I guess it's because he's either making sexual remarks about me or he's being annoying as hell. He never settles down or takes anything seriously. Example, last night Tommy and Randy were having a discussion about what gay meant.. Randy used the word 'homo' and John cracks up, and when we repeated it he laughed even harder."

Trish grinned, "Excuse him for being a man."

Lita sighed, glancing at the ring again, this time it was Carlito and Jericho in, the older of the two gaining the advantage easily as he took the brown haired wrestler to the mat with a headlock.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can excuse him for being brain-dead. He's worst that Maria's character." Lita exclaimed as she watched the so-called match. "Plus he always slaps my ass and drools over my chest.. You can't lie and say that you wouldn't hate it if Carlito drooled over your chest all the time and slapped your ass. He calls me babe too! He's so annoying! I want to tear out his voice box, just so he shuts his big fat mouth!"

"Okay then. You should do something to let out this anger, because I don't want to stay in the same room with you after the that little tantrum." Trish replied, earning a dark look from the redhead. "All I'm saying is it isn't bad having a hot guy wanting to have sex with you. You should just fuck him so he'll leave you alone."

The other woman rolled her shoulders back as she leaned back, a bit disgusted by the mere thought of having sex with John Cena. Not that he wasn't good looking, but because she could just imagine him being the type to talk during that sex. And she couldn't stand the fact that while they were doing it he'd be saying she could resist him and he'd possible chuckle a bit after he himself said something about sex. Though she didn't know anyone backstage who had had sex with John Cena, she still didn't want to take her chances. Rather than relying to her friend's remarks she kept her eye on the match the six were putting on, though that didn't last night longer as Dave managed to pin Carlito. And then they went back to being bored, it wasn't until Kurt Angle decided to say something did they actually notice that Vince wasn't there yet.

"It's been about an hour since we got the message to meet Vince, you think he's running late? Or you think he's blowing us off because we were late?" Kurt questioned before he sighed. "This sucks, I hope this isn't our punishment for being late -- or being associated with the person who decided to sleep.."

"What? They weren't even talking!" Jericho exclaimed. "I don't see why it was such a big deal! The conference hadn't even started! Gosh! You all suck!"

"Alright then.. Now that we've established that we..suck..I think we should just go to Vince's office and see if he's in." Triple H interrupted as he got up from his seat. "Shawn and I will go to his office, see if he's there and if he isn't we'll come back, tell you guys and we can all leave. No harm, no foul. Like Vince can really get mad at us for leaving when he was a good half an hour late, since we've only been here for half an hour.."

Everyone agreed, whether it had been vocally or verbally they agreed and the two men set off to Vince's office while the rest sat in silence. About five of the girls sat outside of the ring and talked about girl stuff; this group including Maria, Kelly, Ashley, Stacy and Dawn. The rest of the superstars broke off into random conversations with those around them as they waited for the two men to return.

**.xxx meanwhile**

Shawn and Hunter walked down the hall with smirks on their faces as they talked about some of the twisted stories they'd tell Vince in order to get him to rush to the ring. A few included death, while all, but one included some sort of violence. The only one that didn't include death or violence included a huge group orgy of superstars that Vince wouldn't want to miss.. Mostly for the cock than anything else.. Though the two men were surprised when they arrived at the owner's office to find it was abandoned, all Vince's stuff gone with a note on the desk that was addressed to one of the clean up crew members..

"Stan, make sure you turn off the goddamn lights this time, or else you're fired, you dumbass.." Hunter read aloud, before glancing at Shawn. "He certainly isn't nice to anyone. Third time he's threatened to fire someone. Bet all he needs is some cock--"

"Hunter, Vince isn't around.. You don't need to talk about cock." Shawn insisted as he rolled his eyes. "Well, looks like Vince is gone. Let's go tell the others and get out of here."

Hunter nodded, the pair heading out of the office, though Hunter paused a moment to throw the note in the trash. Smirking as he followed Shawn down the hall back to the ring, whistling a show tune as he jammed his hands in his pockets.

"You know what Shawn? I think Vince set us up. What else would explain the notes we got?" Hunter inquired. "Or even worse! What if someone else set us up? Gave us fake notes to make us stay afterward and look like idiots.."

"I'm sure that's what happened.. Maybe Vince forgot? Or just changed his mind.. And besides who on earth would have something against all of us? We're on different rosters.. Heck only time we're together like this is super shows or payperviews. Honestly this paypayview really has sucked. From Vince being in a bad mood to Jericho's constant complaining tonight was awful."

"Jerky was complaining?" Hunter inquired as a brow raised.

Shawn grinned, "Yeah because he was bumped outta a match."

"Oh yeah, right." Hunter nodded. "He won his match in spite of that though."

"He was supposed to win his title match." Shawn pointed out.

"Shit, that sucks." Hunter muttered as Shawn grimly nodded in agreement.

Once the pair reached the ring area they stopped at the top of the stairs, the taller of the two informing them that Vince wasn't there and that they could all grab their stuff and leave. Almost everyone immediately headed back to their locker rooms; Lita, Melina and Trish staying behind a good five minutes to finish their little chat before they headed to their locker rooms. Although after they had all their stuff with them they found themselves waiting behind a few of the guys, one of them banging into the exit.

"You know, turning the door knob opens the door, Cena." Lita stated sweetly with a smirk.

John bit his tongue as Randy turned to the three, "The door's stuck.. That's why this arena is so damn stupid! These electric doors suck."

The three looked a bit concerned as the muscular man tried to get it to slide open, however it didn't budge, leaving them with only one other option..finding another door. Unfortunately for them on their way to the one of the only other exits the lights went out.

"Oh this is fuckin' great!" John muttered, tossing his arms in the air as he turned around, not sure exactly who was behind him until he reached out.

"CENA!"

"Sorry.." John exclaimed quickly as the redhead he had just grabbed onto slapped him. "I didn't mean to grab ya there! I thought Orton was behind me."

"So you want to grab my boob?" Randy wanted to know. "I'm..shocked, I didn't know that you felt that way."

"Damnit, Orton, if I knew where you were I'd kill you!" John hissed, blue eyes narrowing dangerously as he took a step back.

Trish sighed, "I remember there being emergency flash lights in some of the halls.. All we need to do is feel around for them. They'll be in a glass case, almost like one that a fire extinguisher would be in..."

"Yeah, I remember that.. Be careful not to pull the fire alarm.." Melina warned, though nobody bothered to question her logic.

John lead the way down the hall, the West Newbury native feeling around the walls on the right side with Randy while the girls felt on the left. A few moments later they heard what sounded to be like someone screaming right after someone groaning, at first they weren't sure what to make of it until someone started laughing while someone else started apologizing.

"What happened?" Lita questioned as she glared over her shoulder.

"John got hit in face...by a door." Randy exclaimed in between breaths. "I hope he broke his nose--"

"Shut up, you fuckin' idiot." John snapped out as he held his hand to his nose. "What the fuck is your problem?"

The woman rolled her eyes, "How the hell was I supposed to know you were creeping outside my locker room? Took me long enough to find the damn door! What are you guys doing anyway?"

"Looking for emergency flashlights." Trish replied simply.

"They are in the fifth corridor." Someone informed her, shining what appeared to be a flashlight at her.

The group blinked as Hunter and Shawn walked up to them, both carrying flashlights in their possession. Hunter smirking as he glanced at John, noting that his nose was bleeding. The four women glanced at John as well, Torrie wincing as she got a glance at his nose, feeling guilty as it appeared it may as well have been broken. Lita narrowed her eyes at the pair.

"You're telling me you found flashlights and left them there knowing damn well there were other people here?" Lita snapped.

"Well.. We each only have two hands, we need one free to fight off anyone who wanted our flashlights.." Shawn replied.

"Who would have fought you for your flashlights?" Randy wanted to know.

Hunter frowned sadly, "I believe it was Striker..we beat him up a bit. We thought he was Vince."

The four women rolled their eyes, while both Randy and John seemed confused as they trailed behind the pair to go get some flashlights. Just about now they were pretty sure that tonight would be one of the worst nights of their lives...

**.xxx to be continued**

**a/n:** Well, here you guys go.. The sequel, hope you enjoyed it! Now go be good readers and review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Stuck With The Likes Of You

**Author:** Jessie / Optikal Illusions.

**Pairings:** Torrie Wilson/Johnny Nitro, Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho, Dawn Marie/Edge, Stacy Keibler/Jeff Hardy, Ashley Massaro/Matt Hardy, Melina Perez/Randy Orton, Possible Lita/Christian or John Cena (Not sure yet)

**Disclaimer:** As Always, I Own No One.

**Distribution:** Ask First.

**Rating:** PG-13, Could Change

**Summary:** You could say it's deja' vu for one Jeff Hardy when he and a group of elite WWE superstars find themselves locked in the most famous arena in World Wrestling Entertainment.. Madison Square Garden that is.

**Characters..**

_Raw:_ Torrie Wilson, Trish Stratus, Mickie James, Lita, Maria, Melina Perez, Johnny Nitro, Randy Orton, John Cena, Carlito, Triple H, Matt Striker, Shawn Michaels

_Smackdown!:_ Candice Michelle, Christy Hemme, Ashley Massaro, Stacy Keibler, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Batista, Chris Benoit, Edge, Rey Mysterio

_ECW:_ Kelly, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Beulah, Joey Mercury, Tommy Dreamer, Chris Jericho, Christian, Kurt Angle, Test

**Notes:** Check out the first chapter for important notes, changes, et cetera. Note that I have changed Lita's possible pairing from Lita/Christian or Batista to Lita/Christian or John Cena. Why? Because I have no idea what-so-ever why I even had Lita/Batista in the first place... Lita/Cena seemed a bit more logical in all honesty.

**Chapter Two**

The group of Raw superstars found themselves wondering around with six flashlights in hand, Torrie and Melina stating that they didn't really need flashlights and vowed to stick close to those who did have flashlights. It wasn't long until they ran into a small group of Smackdown! superstars who didn't seem to have much of any idea as to what was going on, as it wasn't a very smart group of Smackdown! superstars. Triple H and Shawn Michaels, who were, apparently, the leaders of the Raw superstars, were left to deal with explaining the entire mess to them. Luckily, as Triple H put it, they spoke English and it wasn't a very long process.

"So.. You're saying Matt Striker cut the power? That's.. That's like worse than George W Bush tapping into my phone line asking me if I'm a freaking terrorist!" Rey Mysterio exclaimed suddenly, looking utterly shocked.

Triple H nodded gravely, glad that Rey was smarter than Matt Hardy and Ashley Massaro, who seemed to believe that Matt Striker was a security guard who was working for the President of The United States. While no one was actually sure how they drew this conclusion they allowed the pair to wonder off in some random direction, stating that Striker was there with a wrench daring anyone to take him on, in hopes that they would never see them again. Once the pair were out of site Rey decided to join the Raw superstars, feeling that, if anything, they would be able to get him out of this mess better than Hardy or Massaro would have. Luckily for him, he was quite right. Within fifteen minutes they came to another exit, sadly this exit was also sealed shut securely. In which case they headed for another exit. After spending the better part of an hour going from exit to exit to find that they were all sealed shut, things didn't seem too promising.

"Fuck. I knew I should have just blown this shit off. I told y'all, my mom calls me every night at 11, she's gonna worry--" John began dramatically, putting a hand to his chest as he thought of his poor mother crying, thinking her son was dead.

"Shit, I never thought I'd see the day when John Cena is making a big deal about his mama calling him... Get over it mama's boy, she'll probably think her boy's getting laid..for once." Triple H retorted as John gave him a look of utter shock.

"Hunter.. His mom still thinks he's a virgin." Shawn pointed out awkwardly.

"You? A virgin?" Randy exclaimed, trying his best not to laugh. "Yeah right. If his mom knew anything about him, it'd be that he's the most perverted man on the face of the earth. He slaps Li's ass more than a mother spanks her child. He drools at the very sight of a woman in bra and panties.. He laughs when people say 'homo' or any other sort of sexual word play. This guy? This guy is not a virgin. I assure you that much."

"Thanks for the play-by-play, Orton. I don't think you need to be a brain surgeon to know that Cena isn't a virgin. Fuck, I bet he's gotten inside Red's pants by now.. Have you Cena? Have you fucked that little spit fire?" Triple H wanted to know, Lita looked at Triple H as if he'd just insulted her in the worst way, while John looked a bit disappointed in himself.

"Good God! You're going to need to go to confession after this! How many times have I to tell you? Cursing and degrading women does not score you points with the big guy!" Shawn snapped, looking as if his own mother had just been slapped. "I have put up with your cursing, I have gotten used to it, but to degrade this young woman in front of nine people! That's preposterous! God, hear me now, he means not what he says! Please.. Allow him to enter the gates of heaven!"

Silence. "What the fuck are you talking about? You act as if God is going to take one of those damn lightening bolts and strike me down! Man, get a grip.. We'll go to the catering area, if we're lucky that Stan guy left the water there again." Triple H replied, shaking his head as Shawn gripped tightly onto his cross.

Triple H grabbed Shawn's arm and tugged him off, the others following shortly behind for they were probably better off with DX than without them.. Seeing as DX didn't seem to be too reluctant to beat anyone who got in their way. As they searched for the catering area, John took it upon himself to tug Randy to the rear to discuss 'personal issues' of his. While the rest brushed it off as John wanting to talk to Randy about fucking, Randy knew much better.. There had been a certain 'issue' that had been bothering the older man for quite some time now.

"Dude, I'm telling you she don't care 'bout me. She fuckin' hates me--" John began, without missing a beat.

"Really now? She hates you? I never would have guessed.. Oh, that's right, I did guess. Remember what I told you when you first came to me about this? I told you Lita's a classy lady, she isn't easily charmed. And if you call slapping her ass charming her then you have another thing coming Cena. She doesn't like that you know.. She doesn't like anything you do." Randy interrupted, giving John a superior look.

"Orton, I don't know what the fuck I should do.. You know my intentions an' shit, I wanna be wit' her, but she ain't bitin'. You know?" John replied as he spared a glace at the redhead.

Randy shook his head, "If I wasn't mistaken, I'd think you just compared Lita to a fish. You aren't going fishing, you fucking idiot."

John remained silently, sighing as he stared at the said diva, if he had any luck he'd be able to 'woo' her. Though that seemed very unlikely as she didn't really seem to want much of anything to do with him, and if things continued as they were? He wasn't going to be getting what he wanted, that much was for sure. Unfortunately for him, Randy didn't seem to want to help John in his pursuit, leaving the older man behind to join the rest in their search for the catering area.

**.xxx elsewhere.**

"You fucking jackass! You aren't going to get the damn door open by doing that.. What are you, stupid?" Jericho exclaimed, kicking the wall in frustration, though regretting it after he had done so. "Fuck!"

"If you weren't so damned negative--" Mercury began, stopping himself before he could say anything stupid.

Test sighed, "Well, this isn't going to work.. We've figured that much out. Tommy? You got any ideas?"

Tommy shrugged, glancing from Beulah to Christian, who also seemed as clueless as he was. Beulah sighed heavily as she watched Test, Mercury and Kurt try to open the doors again. The woman didn't seem to think the process was going along very well as they had been trying to pry the door open for the better part of an hour.

"This isn't going to work!" Kurt stated suddenly, throwing his hands up in frustration. "Nothing is going to get this door open.. We should just go find other people."

Christian nodded, "Yeah.. I seen Li, Trish and Mel heading toward their locker room as I was heading out. They've gotta be here."

Beulah looked a bit hopeful, glancing at Tommy, who, in turn, nodded and grabbed her hand. "Alright, we're going to go find them.. Any of you want to join us?"

Test and Mercury gave the door another try as the others headed off in search for other people, it wasn't long until Mercury and Test caught up with them muttering how they figured they'd give it another go. After a good fifteen minutes they found nothing, they'd checked a few locker rooms and they'd even found a few more emergency flash lights. After walking around the arena for a half an hour they ran into Ashley and Matt, who now seemed to think they were soldiers who were heading into a very dangerous mission. Ducking into locker rooms every so often and even jumping into a garbage can or two.

"Um.. Guys?" Christian asked uncertainly, looking at his fellow ECW friends, who all looked as uncertain as he did. "What are you doing?"

Matt, who had just tried to jump into a nearby trash can, spoke up first, "You see, this Striker guy he's deadly.. He has a wrench, a crowbar and a grenade. There's no telling what he's capable of."

Christian nodded, as if he understood, "So, um, well.. Who told you this? Surely you didn't come up with this...story...on your own?"

"Triple H did... They went back that way--" Ashley began to explain, though the others began to walk off before she could finish.

Christian and the others nodded, muttering something about seeing Striker leap into a locker room with a machine gun awhile back, before they set off in the said direction to find Triple H. It was a long while until they heard voices, voices that they recognized to be that of a few Smackdown! superstars, this was quite a relief to say the least. The ECW 'extremists' looked the Smackdown! superstars up and down before nodding in approval, the Smackdown! superstars exchanged a look of confusion before they shrugged and nodded as well.

"Christian..." Edge stated with a short sigh, shaking his head. "Great to see you found your way out of your locker room. Dreamer... Great to see you haven't killed anyone, or yourself."

"Edge." Jericho spoke up before Christian or Dreamer could. "I see you're still the biggest jackass I've ever seen.. Oh, and you even have the great ape with you. Tell me, does he still get off on animals?"

"Now see here! Candice is not an ape--" Edge began, stopping as soon as he registered that Jericho was talking about a guy.. Candice sending him a scornful look before she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well, you if you must know, no, he does not get off on animals. You.. You silly little person." Candice replied, looking at the ECW extremists with utter disgust. "If there are any apes around here? It's you guys."

"Oh really? Here I thought I had just seen Matt Hardy and Ashley Massaro playing in garbage back there... Weren't they playing in garbage, Tommy?" Christian asked suddenly, smirking as he did so.

"I'm afraid so, Christian." Tommy replied with a sad look upon his face. "And I could have sworn I just seen Batista lick himself.. But I could be mistaken."

Edge and Candice looked at Dave to see that he had, indeed, licked himself and now looked like a complete assclown. He coughed and muttered something about having a bit of whipped cream on his shoulder.

"Did he just say whipped cream? What on earth do you people do over on Smackdown!?" Jericho questioned at once, looking appalled.

Edge sighed, "For once, I have no excuses.. Dave, you fucking retard! You ruined our image! Fuck. Now we need to kill them.. They'll tell the others."

"Do I even want to know?" Benoit asked, shaking his head sadly. "Sorry guys, but there was actually whipped cream on Dave's shoulder... Probably from that tea. What'd I tell you? Shower after you down tea like it's beer. Anyway.. Where are you guys going?"

"Down that way..." Kurt replied, pointing behind the Smackdown! superstars, no one really bothered to look as they didn't trust the ECW extremists. "We're looking for D-Generation X... Ever heard of them?"

Silence. "Of course we have you fucking retard." Edge snapped. "They're on Raw.. Why are you looking for Raw superstars? Want to kill them, do you? Fucking ECW whores."

"Excuse me?" Beulah sputtered, narrowing her eyes at the blond man. "Did you just call us 'ECW whores'? That might just be about the stupidest thing I've ever heard from a bunch of WWE jockeys. It takes a lot of talent to be in ECW, you ungrateful little bastard. All you have to do for the WWE is take off your clothes and twirl around like a little bitch and you've got a fucking contract. So you best pay us some more respect."

"You've got a dirty mouth, you stupid slut--" Candice exclaimed clenching her fists and stomping a foot on the ground.

"Bring it, bitch." Beulah challenged.

Oh and Candice brought it. The Smackdown! diva lounged herself at the ECW vixen, taking her down with a vicious spear before she straddled her waist, delivering a few harsh slaps before Beulah was able to turn them over. The men watched in awe as Beulah slapped the taste out of Candice's mouth, however they sprang into action as Beulah tried to pound the back of Candice's head into the concrete floor. Tommy grabbing his wife around the waist as Edge tried to pull Candice away from Beulah. Test shook his head sadly, muttering something about wanting to see an all-out catfight, as Tommy and Edge tried to restrain the women from going at it again. Meanwhile, the group of Raw superstars had heard the commotion and had ran to see what was going on.. Though Triple H ensured them that it was just someone getting an ass kicking, they still wanted to see it. By the time they reached the place where the Smackdown! superstars and the ECW extremists stood everyone was ready for battle, Test and Kurt looked as if they were ready to jump Benoit any second - no one was really sure why.

"What the fuck..." Triple H muttered, looking from Edge and Candice to Tommy and Beulah before he shook his head. "I say we rip off their clothes and throw them into a hole.. Let them settle their differences the old fashioned way."

Shawn look at Triple H as if he had just grown a second head, "What is the matter with you? Th-That has to be against the law! And if it isn't, it should be!"

"I like his idea," Test stated at once, pointing to Triple H, who nodded and pointed at Test as if he was the answer to Shawn's 'question'.

"People would pay to see that. I guarantee it." Triple H insisted with a smirk, money on his mind.

"Who started it?" John wanted to know, as if he were going to thank whoever had.

"Bet it was Beulah.. She's one tough bitch. Aren't you Beulah?" Triple H answered, looking at Beulah as if asking her to back that up.

"What the hell is your problem? You're just like these damn ECW freaks!" Edge spat, pushing Candice away from him as she tried to hug him for some sort of security. "I don't need this crap--"

"I'm sure you don't Edge, but calling people names and degrading people you know nothing about isn't the way to go about this mess. It is Vince McMahon that we should plot against. He did this to us! We need to figure out a way out.. So lets set aside our differences! And work together! Alright?" Trish snapped, glaring at Edge as if he was the only reason for the entire fight. Even though she didn't know he actually was.

"What? We can get out without these... these..." Edge stopped, searching for a word.

"Don't even say it, Edge." Lita warned, hazel eyes narrowing at the blond man.

"But I--"

"Don't." Melina warned.

Now Melina, Lita and Trish were all giving Edge a pretty dirty look.. The man sighing almost instantly and muttering "fine" before he shook his head and got out of the way, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. The three girls backed off, all taking a step back to allow the guys to start discussing plans.

"Well.. We've tried almost every door." Triple H informed them, glancing at Shawn for backup, Shawn merely nodded. "Any we haven't seen anyone besides Matt, Ashley and Rey.. We kept Rey with us, but we sent Massaro and Hardy packing. They were annoying us."

"Oh, we seen Hardy and Massaro too... They were back there," Christian replied, pointing behind him. "They were ducking into locker rooms and jumping in trash cans. I think Ashley almost killed herself in the process, but Matt was teaching her how to jump into one as we were walking away."

Triple H, John, Randy and Shawn all exchanged a look before they all shook their heads. "Fucking retards."

"Anyway.." Mercury cleared his throat. "I know for a fact that Nitro's here somewhere, Dawn's still here, that Kelly girl's here, Vikki's still here, and so is Mickie. I don't know if anyone else is..."

"Striker. We beat the fuck outta him." Triple H replied, gesturing between him and Shawn. "And I think all you missed is Keibler, Maria, Jeff Hardy, and Carlito. I can't think of anyone else--"

"Christy Hemme, you fucking retards." Edge snapped. "Though she was with you Candice... Where'd she run off to?"

"Uh.. I seen her and Jeff go off a while back..." Candice responded, glaring at Edge as if he just left her for another woman.

"What's her problem?" Mercury asked Christian, who shrugged, muttering something about 'pmsing' before the pair exchanged sage-like looks and nods.

"So.. Anyone seen any of them?" Triple H questioned, looking around to see everyone start thinking, or at least look the part.

"Mickie, Maria, Victoria, Dawn, Kelly, and Stacy all left the women's locker room before us." Melina exclaimed. "We stayed behind for a bit--"

"Yeah. We got it. No need to tell us you were havin' some sort of threesome." John interrupted, receiving a few dark looks from both the girls and the guys. Most of them wanted to hear about this so-called threesome and cursed John Cena for ruining it.

"Asshole," Lita slapped John's arm, pretty hard too. "You can't be serious if only for one minute, can you?"

"I think he tries... But fails miserably every time." Randy remarked, shaking his head sadly.

**.xxx to be continued.**

**a/n: **_**Truly sorry for leaving this untouched for so long.. Been extremely busy. Hopefully I'll be updating more often. **_**:-)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Stuck With The Likes Of You

**Author:** Jessie / Shadow Shawnna (Yay)

**Pairings:** Torrie Wilson/Johnny Nitro, Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho, Dawn Marie/Edge, Stacy Keibler/Jeff Hardy, Ashley Massaro/Matt Hardy, Melina Perez/Randy Orton, Possible Lita/Christian or John Cena (Not sure yet)

**Disclaimer:** As Always, I Own No One.

**Distribution:** Ask First.

**Rating:** PG-13, Could Change

**Summary:** You could say it's deja' vu for one Jeff Hardy when he and a group of elite WWE superstars find themselves locked in the most famous arena in World Wrestling Entertainment.. Madison Square Garden that is.

**Characters..**

_Raw:_ Torrie Wilson, Trish Stratus, Mickie James, Lita, Maria, Melina Perez, Johnny Nitro, Randy Orton, John Cena, Carlito, Triple H, Matt Striker, Shawn Michaels

_Smackdown!:_ Candice Michelle, Christy Hemme, Ashley Massaro, Stacy Keibler, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Batista, Chris Benoit, Edge, Rey Mysterio

_ECW:_ Kelly, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Beulah, Joey Mercury, Tommy Dreamer, Chris Jericho, Christian, Kurt Angle, Test

**Notes:** Check out the first chapter for important notes, changes, et cetera. Enjoy.

**Chapter Three**

One would wonder how, exactly, you miss a vote that was apparently extremely vocal and had involved a few heavy debates.. Lita and John Cena stood in silence as they watched the rest of their friends walk off in different directions, the pair wondering why they were not only stuck with each other, but stuck with Candice Michelle and Edge. The four superstars stood there for a moment or two, waiting until everyone was out of sight to figure out what happened. Apparently the only one who had heard what happened was Edge, though they were unsure what Candice was doing during this time, they decided that they didn't want to know.

"It was actually more like Triple H barking out orders and pointing in directions before he tugged Michaels, Orton and Stratus along with him.. Really makes you wonder, doesn't it?" Edge informed them, the blond man narrowing his eyes at the mere thought. "You know, if only they could grasp the fact that Canadian's have a better sense of direction--"

"Trish is Canadian..." Lita pointed out.

Edge stared at Lita for a moment, as if to question her credibility, "Since when?"

"Since always..." Lita replied, almost confused by Edge's lack of knowledge of the situation. "Don't you listen when Lilian says, 'From Toronto, Ontario, Canada....'?"

"I don't recall hearing anything of the sort," Edge insisted.

John shrugged, as if to say that he too did not know that Trish was from Canada, while Candice looked around, as if she didn't know that they were the ones that were talking.. This gesture alarming the other three a bit, the trio staring at one another for a moment before it was quickly decided that Edge was stuck with her. Edge cursing his slowness, though he blamed it on the so-called steroids they used and the fact that he was still thinking about Trish's Canadian-ness. The two Raw superstars decided to go down the hallway to their left, having seen Randy and Trish gone down that way, while the two Smackdown! stars were forced to go the opposite way, which was where Matt Hardy and Ashley Massaro were currently practicing their top secret drills that required much skill and very little clothing. Edge covered his eyes with his hand as they passed the two, Ashley currently trying to use her chest to crawl around on the floor..though she managed to hit her hand against a wall and began to claim that her hand was broken. By the time Edge and Candice were past the two, Ashley was starting to claim that Matt Striker had came out of no where and smacked her hand with his crowbar before he dove into a vent, making a quick get away. Meanwhile, John Cena and Lita found themselves wondering down the dark halls with only one flashlight, this proving to be a bit of a problem as both seemed to think that they deserved to be the one who carried the said flashlight.

"For fuck sake, John! You can't always use the 'I'm the man' excuse! There is no law of any sort that says men need to carry the flashlight.." Lita exclaimed, sending John an annoyed look.

John rolled his eyes, "Sure there is.."

"Is it next to the law that says if you say you want to have sex with me, I need to oblidge to your desires?" Lita tossed back.

"Of course it is, and the law that says that if I need to release you need to be the one that gets down there and--" John began, Lita smacking him in the back of the head with the flashlight. "Ow! You're so damn violent.. That coulda killed me!"

"I'm sure," Lita muttered as she rolled her eyes.

After a few minutes of walking, they were ready to second guess their choice of following DX, Randy and Trish.. The pair hadn't heard anything or seen anyone since they'd left Candice and Edge, that was until they heard a pounding sound. Both John and Lita stopped dead in their tracks, looking around for the source, they kept walking along the same path, soon they found the source.. Neither really wanting to know how Kelly Kelly and Matt Striker had managed to get themselves stuck in a vent.

"What the fuck--" John started, though pausing to get a better look at the two. "Why are you two in there?"

Matt shoved a hand in Kelly's face, as if to stop her from telling John before he could, "She was stripping her clothes off for no reason what-so-ever! I almost went blind!"

"Shut up!" Kelly screamed, the sound of her voice made John want to dig out his ear drums with a piece of glass.. "I was not stripping for you! I was stripping for Chris Jericho--"

"Pfft, like Jericho'd want to see you without clothing.." Lita exclaimed, though she hadn't realized she had said that aloud.

"Oh my god!" Kelly cried, the blonde girl beginning to cry. "Everyone hates me!"

"Damn straight." John replied, though he too hadn't realized he said it aloud until Kelly began to cry even harder. "Shit.. Uh, hold on... We'll find a way to get ya out of there?"

John and Lita quickly looked around for where ever the vent may lead out, Lita telling John to prop the door open as she lead him into the broiler room, the redhead looking around the walls to see where the vents lead out as John tried to use a chair to prop the heavy door open. After a few moments John followed the redhead down what he thought were stairs, however he ran into Lita halfway down.

"What?" John muttered, in hopes of questioning the diva's sudden need to stop. "Why'd you--"

"Are you deaf, Cena?" Lita spat. "The door just closed, asshole.. What'd you use to prop it open?"

John blinked, "Uh, a chair?"

"A chair.. Brilliant. You idiot, that door won't open from the inside." Lita snapped, the redhead shaking her head while she muttered curse words.

John, who didn't seem to want to believe her quickly ran back up the stairs and to what he hoped was the door, having to feel around a bit for the knob for a few mintues before he finally find it, the young man trying to jerk the door open, but to no prevail. He turned around to head back to where Lita was and almost fell down the stairs in the process, Lita was looking around on the second floor for a way out as John joined her muttering something about the door not opening as he did so. Whilst the group they were trying to follow had found their way to Vince McMahon's office. Triple H claimed that it was the "luck of the Irish" when the lights in Vince's office proved to be working, the blond man happily sitting in Vince's chair before he began to twirl around in it, the other three simply took a seat on the couches that were in there.

"I'm shocked the old man doesn't have a bar in here.." Triple H mused, as if he needed to drink in order to cope with the fact that he was stuck here with idiots.

Shawn shrugged, "He probably seen the light.. It'll be great if the entire WWE seen the light. We could all walk around like the Right To Censor, with a bible and throw it at people who don't accept God as the lord and savior of all."

"..Yeah, okay, we'll do that when all the divas can actually wrestle, how about that?" Triple H replied, smirking as Trish and Randy laughed at that.

"Well, Kelly could probably be a good test dummy.." Trish insisted with a little twinkle in her eye.

"Still, that's not wrestling." Randy pointed out, Trish sticking her tongue out as Triple H stared at the two.

"You two would make a weird-good-couple." Triple H stated.

Trish rolled her eyes, "Please, I'm with Chris."

"Which one?"

"There's only one Chris here--"

"No, Benoit's here. Remember? Kurt and Test were going to kill him if it weren't for my saving the day." Triple H declared in a loud tone.

Trish rolled her eyes, "Benoit's married. I'm with Chris Jericho. Not Randy Orton, not Chris Benoit. Chris Jericho."

Triple H nodded, "You're with jerky. Probably why you've just such an attitude now.. You used to be such a sweet girl. Then he poisoned you."

"With what?" Shawn wanted to know, as if it were an interesting topic.

Triple H gave a wise sage-like look to the rest of them, "Rat poisoning. Deadly, to rats that is, but to humans like Trish.. It just fucks you up."

Shawn looked shocked, glaring over at Trish as if she were disgusting before he inched away from her. Trish giving Triple H a dark look as she crossed her arms, deciding to ignore the three men. Hunter decided to go back to twirling around in the chair, wondering how long he could stand to do it, Shawn decided to help Hunter out by pushing the chair whenever the back was to him, and Randy just watched the entire scene with great interest. Meanwhile, elsewhere was Christian, Torrie, Beulah, and Tommy were searching for the lost superstars that were supposedly still in the arena. The four had yet to come across anything, however Torrie had said she was pretty sure that she'd seen Nitro's name on one of the doors after Mercury's locker room. Sure enough, they found Nitro's locker room, though when they opened it Nitro was no where to be found. As they looked around the room with the little light that their flashlight had they heard what sounded like someone biting an apple.. Tommy turned around to be blinded the light of another flashlight.

"Holy shit.." Tommy muttered, as if his eyes had just been burned. "Don't shine those things in people's eyes asshole."

Carlito spit the bit of apple he had just taken into his mouth, "Carlito knows what you're thinking.. Carlito should have said, 'that's not cool' like a damn idiot. But Carlito knows English, asshole."

"I didn't say you didn't!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Oh well, Carlito can read minds.. Anyway, what are you looking for?" Carlito asked, looking around in the locker room.

"Well, we're supposed to be looking for--" Torrie began as she turned around, though she stopped when she noticed who they were looking for was right next to Carlito. "You!"

Nitro looked around as Torrie pointed in his general direction, "Me?"

"Yeah you," Christian replied, glaring at Nitro as if he were an idiot. "So, now we've found two people. I think that's enough to qualify for a break."

Carlito nodded, "Yeah, Carlito and Nitro were looking for people. We found four. So Carlito thinks we get more break."

"We'll all take a half an hour break, how's that sound?" Christian asked, as if wanting to form a truce of some sort.

"Sounds like a deal." Johnny replied, the two shaking hands with everyone in the group before they all headed off to find a place to take their 'much needed' break.

Meanwhile, the estranged group of Dawn Marie, Victoria, Mickie James and Stacy Keibler were currently waiting for Christy and Jeff to finish the device that they claimed would be able to get them out of here.. Stacy was the only one who actually thought they'd be sucessful, as she always had a cheery and positive outlook of things. While Victoria, Dawn and Mickie were wondering if their device would kill either one of them. Honestly, they didn't have a problem with her, but if either one of them were to die, they hoped it was Christy because Jeff would be so much more helpful in the long run. However, they were a bit confused when Jeff said he'd been in a situation like this before with a large group of people.

"Don't worry," Jeff began saying, yet again. "I was once stuck in a locker room with Lita--"

"Please don't finish that sentence..." Victoria muttered, thinking maybe the two did something very wrong.

"No!" Jeff said without missing a beat. "We didn't have sex! I was stuck in a locker room with Lita, Matt - who is apparently gay, Hunter - who faked being gay to get out of his marriage with Stephanie McWhore, Stacy - who was stupid, Jericho, Christian - who could play pat-a-cake very well, Edge, and many other people."

"I was never stuck in a locker room with you... And I'm not stupid! How could you say a thing like that?" Stacy asked, almost on the verge of tears because she was also a very emotional woman as well as positive.

Jeff stared blankly at the wall for a moment before he realized it was a dream, "Shit that's right.. I remember it was just a dream.. Holy shit, this is like almost the same thing. I wonder if Lita and Cena are going to get together..."

"They got together in your dream?" Victoria asked with an interested look upon her face. "Oh, wouldn't that be the day? Cena wants to be with her so bad.. If only he were more mature."

"Bet Lita lusts for him," Mickie stated with a short nod. "He does have one hell of a body."

"Sure, but he insults women half the time and when he isn't insulting them he's disgusting them." Dawn declared as the other two shrugged.

Stacy looked between the three women before she coughed, "I think John and Lita will sleep together within a month."

"Excuse me?" Dawn sputtered, looking appalled. "You seriously think that asshole will get anything from Lita? He doesn't even deserve a slap."

"All I said was they were together in my dream... No need to get all serious on me. But Christy and I have created the first ever human catapult." Jeff exclaimed happily. "Should be fun."

"Who, exactly, is going to be thrown at the door?" Victoria wanted to know.

"I am.. I would never let a lady attempt this dangerous stunt, if I die, Victoria will protect you all." Jeff informed them.

"Yeah, wait.. What? Why me?"

"You're tough and you'll kick 'em where it hurts if you need to." Jeff replied as Victoria smiled a bit.

"Did you hear that? I'm tough!" Victoria exclaimed happily.

Dawn rolled her eyes, "Big deal. Now try this stupid thing so we can go find some normal people."

"This is as normal as they come in the WWE." Mickie muttered as Jeff and Christy pulled out their newly assembled device.

The small group watched as Jeff hooked rubber bands up onto the sides of the walls, Christy happily dragging a table out of the room before she put it in between the two walls. Before the pair could finish the assembly of their device Dawn stopped the pair, stating that it was not safe to shoot someone across the room with rubber bands fashioned into a rope and a table. Although it took a good while to convince them to change their minds about their decision to shoot Jeff at the door, by the time the four women had proven their points the group found themselves searching for the other people.

_**To Be Continued...**_

**A/N:** _Sorry it was a bit shorter than the other chapters, also sorry it took so long to update._


	4. Chapter 4

**Entitled: **Stuck With The Likes Of You

**Author:** Shadow Shawnna

**Ensemble:** Torrie Wilson/Johnny Nitro, Trish Stratus/Chris Jericho, Dawn Marie/Edge, Stacy Keibler/Jeff Hardy, Ashley Massaro/Matt Hardy, Melina Perez/Randy Orton, Possible Lita/Christian or John Cena (Not sure yet)

**Disclaimer:** As Always, I Own No One.

**Distribution:** Ask First.

**Rating:** PG-13, For Language & Sexual Innuendo

**Summary:** You could say it's deja' vu for one Jeff Hardy when he and a group of elite WWE superstars find themselves locked in the most famous arena in World Wrestling Entertainment.. Madison Square Garden that is.

**Characters..**

_**Raw:**_Torrie Wilson, Trish Stratus, Mickie James, Lita, Maria, Melina Perez, Johnny Nitro, Randy Orton, John Cena, Carlito, Triple H, Matt Striker, Shawn Michaels

_**Smackdown!:**_ Candice Michelle, Christy Hemme, Ashley Massaro, Stacy Keibler, Jeff Hardy, Matt Hardy, Batista, Chris Benoit, Edge, Rey Mysterio

_**ECW:**_ Kelly, Dawn Marie, Victoria, Beulah, Joey Mercury, Tommy Dreamer, Chris Jericho, Christian, Kurt Angle, Test

**Notes:** Check out the first chapter for important notes. Note that while this story was originally posted in 2006 I have opted to keep all of the characters - meaning I'm not removing Chris Benoit despite the fact that he is no longer with us.

**Chapter Four**

The group that Triple H had dubbed "The Degenerates" made their way through the halls with Vince's chair and desk in tow. The blond man leading the way as he pulled the chair behind him, leaving Randy and Shawn to carry the desk. Nobody really seemed to question Triple H's twisted logic that Vince would get pissed off that they moved his desk to the catering hall. When they passed the boiler room nobody would ever have suspected that Lita and Cena were stuck in there, in fact they were more taken aback by Striker and Kelly in the vent than anything else.

"Holy shit! That's like the kinkiest place I've ever seen anyone have sex in-" Hunter began suddenly, though Trish and Randy seemed to believe that the duo were really having sex and both looked away.

Striker was the first to deny it, and quickly. "I would never have sex with this disease ridden hoe!"

"Hey now! That is no way to speak of a lady!" Shawn exclaimed, tsking Striker.

For some reason Hunter kicked at the vent and told them to get out, he seemed to be chastising the pair and then began to walk away. The others followed suit, leaving before Cena could make it to the door and gain their attention. When Triple H heard the noise he yelled back at Striker and Kelly telling them that they weren't very discreet with their affair.

"But it wasn't us!" Striker yelled back.

"Yeah, I'm sure it was the Boogeyman. Grow up!" Triple H hollered back before directing the others to hurry up before Striker said anything else.

When they finally arrived at the catering hall they were surprised to find that six people were just sitting around doing nothing. Triple H quickly began to scold them, but when they informed him that they'd found their quota of two people he began to congratulate them. Then he patronized his own group for only finding a desk and chair. Trish and Randy remained quiet while Shawn quickly sided with Hunter and asked them what they were thinking when they suggested bringing the desk with them.

"Foolish. Stupidest idea I've ever heard!" Shawn shook his head.

"It wasn't-"

"Don't blame us! It was Trish who said she wanted to strip on the desk for everyone." Hunter exclaimed with a bit of a smirk.

Christian looked between the four of them and then asked, "When does the show start?"

Trish gasped in surprise, "Never! I can't believe how perverted you guys are!"

Beulah scoffed at Trish's ignorance, "It's all men think about, Trish. You're going with one of the most perverted guys in the world and you're surprised that other men are just as perverted?"

They weren't sure what angered Trish more, the fact that Beulah had just called Chris Jericho perverted or that she had insulted her intelligence. Whichever of the two had struck the wrong nerve they didn't listen long enough to find out. While the two ladies argued Triple H began to inform Nitro and Carlito that he was in charge and that if they were thinking of taking over they'd better give up. Christian and Tommy seemed to know first hand that Triple H's warning was completely serious. Nobody was really sure why though, to the best of their knowledge the only one who knew better not to mess with DX was Striker, who was currently stuck in a vent. They believed that Kelly and Striker were in the vent because of DX and were pretty sure that anyone who was caught trying to help them was going to be punished.

Meanwhile, the 'lost' superstars who didn't even know they were lost were roaming the halls with a few emergency flash lights in hand. Jeff was practically bouncing off the walls and Christy seemed to think it was a good idea to do the same. It wasn't long until they came across Candice and Edge. Jeff seemed confused at first because Edge didn't seem to be doing anything to find anyone. He was just sitting on the floor and Candice was playing with her hair.

"Hey-" Jeff began, before he was cut off by the surprise of Edge's quick greeting.

"Thank God!" Edge exclaimed, causing Candice to jump a bit. "Wow, hey, where were you guys?"

Dawn eyed Edge suspiciously, "What do you want, Edge?"

Edge blinked, "What makes you think I want something?"

"You're never this friendly... Not even to Candice." Christy pointed out, the Smackdown! diva having seen first hand how Edge treated Candice.

Victoria nodded in agreement, "Yeah, what's going on?"

"They all left me with _her_!" Edge replied quickly, looking genuinely hurt by the abandonment he had felt.

"Who left you?" Dawn asked in a rather hopeful way.

Candice twirled her hair as she replied, "Everyone... DX, Trish, Lita, John, Randy... Everyone."

She felt that everyone was a good enough reply, though it was really because she completely forgot who else was there. Only because DX was running the show and the others seemed to be their groupies or something. After Edge explained that they were sent to search for more people and that they were told they couldn't come back until they found at least two people the others seemed to understand what was going on. Edge happily followed Jeff and Christy as they made their way back to the catering hall. When they arrived they were surprised to find a rather large group of people sitting around a desk that Triple H currently sat behind.

"Order in the hall!" Triple H bellowed, pounding his fist against the table in order to hush the arguments taking place.

Shawn eyed everyone for a moment before he spoke, "We have some bad news."

"Lita and Cena are missing!" Triple H exclaimed loudly, though he really didn't care about them. "I believe they have gone off for a quickie."

Shawn nodded gravely, "I think so, too. As horrid as it may sound, we believe that they will come back after they're done. So please, don't panic."

Silence. "What the fuck are you talking about?" Randy asked, looking as if he were more surprised that Lita would even sleep with Cena than the fact that they weren't back yet.

"Oh, we also believe that Edge and Candice died in a freak accident that had something to do with a spatula." Triple H informed them, despite the fact that they were standing right there.

"Wait, what? We're right here." Edge pointed out, everyone looked generally surprised and a few thought that Edge and Candice were ghosts.

"Shawn," Triple H began, his eyes narrowing at Edge and Candice.

"Yeah?"

"Go check to see if they're really there." Triple H ordered, looking as if he were superior to everyone there as he watched Shawn inch over to where the pair stood.

After Shawn slapped Edge and then pinched Candice he determined that they were really there before he slapped Edge again "just to be sure". Edge looked utterly shocked as he stood in the hallway, unsure if he should be insulted or angry at their ignorant acts.

"_This isn't a time to be funny_!" Trish snapped, looking as if she were more insulted by their acts than Edge was.

Randy nodded in agreement, "Yeah. I'm sick of you guys."

Triple H sent a stern look their way, "Didn't you hear about what happened to the man who didn't know anything?"

Jeff's eyes practically popped out of his head, "Oh my god! Story time!"

"Yes, Jeffrey. Story time. This guy's name was Matt--"

"Hardy?" Jeff asked quickly, wondering if Triple H was going to tell the story about Matt being gay.

"No. Striker. Anyway. He thought he could steal DX's flashlights, but he didn't know that DX didn't let anyone take what was theirs. So he was beat down and stuffed into a vent." Triple H informed them all, revealing what most already figured. "DX runs this building - you will know that we are the lord and we lay our vengeance upon thee!"

Everyone stared at the blond man for a moment. Christian looked up at the ceiling as if in deep thought before looking back at Triple H again.

"Did you just quote Pulp Fiction?" Christian inquired.

Triple H's eyes narrowed, "No. It was completely original."

Though after Christian mentioned it everyone nodded in agreement, that last line was from Pulp Fiction and they figured that Triple H didn't want anyone to know about it. Thankfully, they received a distraction in the form of Chris Jericho, who had apparently been abandoned by his group. When questioned, they simply said that he was annoying them and that they suspected him of attempting to overthrow their monarchy. This was probably the best excuse Triple H had heard the entire night and offered Kurt Angle a position on their "board of administrators" that Kurt gladly accepted. Chris simply stared at the three before he criticized their decision to bring on Kurt, stating that he would probably try to overthrow them when they least expected it.

"He has a point." Shawn said. "Kurt doesn't have the best track record... Remember when he hit you in the head with a chair?"

"Remember it? How could I forget! You bastard! Get off our board of administrators!" Triple H snarled, his eyes narrowing at Kurt.

Kurt began to mutter complaints about Jericho's treason and sat back down between Test and Christian. While they continued on with their ramblings John Cena continued to pound on the door. It wasn't until Lita smacked him upside the head and told him that no one was coming that he stopped. The pair stood in silence for a long moment and for the longest time Lita couldn't help but wonder what surprised her more; the fact that Cena hadn't complained of her violent tendencies or the fact that Cena had gone completely silent for over five minutes. It wasn't until Lita looked to make sure that he was still alive that he bothered to say anything.

"I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry we're in this mess. It's my fault that we're trapped here." John admitted, refusing to look at her and instead opted to stare at the floor.

She was so taken aback by the seriousness in his voice that she didn't even bother to agree with him and put him down even more. She suspected that he already felt this way and didn't need her help with that. For once she actually believed that John Cena was acting his age.

"Maybe someone will come-"

"Nobody's comin'," He snapped. "Can't you see? Nobody gives a shit that we're gone. They'd have noticed-"

"Striker and Kelly are still in the vent, John." Lita pointed out.

"People care _less _that they're in there than they do that we're not around."

Lita remained silent for a moment, "How much are you willing to bet that they all think we're having sex?"

John glanced at her, totally taken aback by what she had just said. What threw him off even more was that she began to laugh, it was one of the few times he heard her laugh. She found it hilarious that people would probably be sitting around just thinking, "_God, I can't believe they're actually having sex!_" Though she didn't bother to say much more and her laughter had long since ceased as she began to look for a vent to crawl out of.

"Oh-I can't believe our luck!" She exclaimed so suddenly that John jumped at the sound of her voice.

"Uh... What?"

"A vent! Don't know where it leads-"

"You won't be able to fit through there..." John said, completely missing the dirty look that was sent his way.

"Are you implying that I'm _fat_?"

"No. I'm _implying_ that this vent is really fuckin' small." John replied quickly, though this didn't cover up his mistake.

Lita narrowed her eyes at him, "I could totally fit in here."

"Yeah? Then try it. Your fat ass isn't going to fit in there." John replied, his annoyance clearly showing through his tone.

Lita smirked, "Am I annoying you, Cena?"

"Of course you are. You're the touchiest female I've ever met!" John exclaimed. "You're always hittin' me and puttin' me down. But when I say that a vent is too small for you to fit in you accuse me of callin' you fat!"

Perhaps it was his honesty that allowed her to overlook his insults or perhaps it was that Lita wanted to prove him wrong. Not only did she think the vent was big enough, but she also thought that she had a rather impressive form. She_ did not _have a big ass and she wanted to prove this to him. Without a single word to him she shoved the flashlight in his hands and preceded to remove the vent. Before she would venture inside she figured she ought to remove some of the clothing she had on. Mostly layers, leaving her in a pair of jeans and a tank top. She gave him a snobbish look before she bent over to make an attempt to crawl through the waist-level vent. She really didn't think any of this through, that much was apparent because moments later she yelled at John.

"Stop looking at my ass!"

"...I wasn't." John lied, though he knew that he didn't sound too convincing.

She didn't bother trying to get out simply to slap him, instead she made an attempt to crawl through the vent. It wasn't until she was half way in that she discovered that John was, in fact, correct. Her hips were far too wide for her to fit through there and she was forced to crawl back out. Letting out an aggravated sigh she pushed herself out and glared at John Cena.

"Lucky guess."

John smirked, "Just a lucky guess, huh? I think someone should lay off the cheetos."

Lita rolled her eyes, "I don't even eat cheetos."

"I'm sure you don't."

"I don't!"

"For someone who claims they don't you're actin' real defensive." John pointed out.

"That's because I'm annoyed with you!"

John didn't say any more, glancing between Lita and the vent before he walked off with the flashlight. Lita then got up and followed after, more or less because she wanted the flashlight. He couldn't help but wonder why she was such an instigator. While Lita and John continued to bicker Matt Hardy and Ashley were still traveling throughout the arena looking for their sworn enemy; Matt Striker. They had decided that since they knew more than everyone else about this terrorist - they figured he was going to bomb America after he discovered a way out - that they were the best people for the job of terminating him.

"Ashley!" Matt exclaimed, shaking his head. "You're too slow! How are you supposed to dodge a flamethrower if you don't move faster? You're done for!"

Ashley sighed, "But Matt... We haven't even seen him-"

"Oh, he's here. That terrorist!" Matt's eyes narrowed at the mere thought of this so-called terrorist. "Bastard."

"But I'm tired-"

"No one cares if you're tired Ashley! This is my chance to prove to everyone that I'm good enough." Matt paused. "If I stop this terrorist DX will finally accept me into their gang. You can be our groupie-"

"But Matt, I don't want to be a groupie. I want to be your sex slave-"

"God, stop being such a whore, Ashley! We need to find that terrorist!"

Ashley continued to complain and even stopped jumping into rooms, staring at Matt as he leapt into a locker room. She continued to stare, holding the flashlight that she'd just picked up. When Matt didn't come back out she decided to follow him into the locker room, fearing that the terrorist had slit his throat or something. Ashley walked into the locker room only to be slapped by Matt Hardy, who had discovered the location of one of the divas that had been left behind

"Why did you hit her?" Maria asked, looking confused as Matt Hardy was seething.

"You're a horrible spy, Ashley! There could have been danger and you could have been killed! You didn't even look in the room before you walked in! God, I can't believe you're my partner!" Matt Hardy spat, crossing his arms angry over his chest.

Ashley blinked, "Yeah? Well.. You slap like a girl!"

Matt Hardy also screamed like a girl, apparently. When he threw a fit Maria felt like her idea of staying in this locker room until someone found her wasn't exactly a good idea either. Her plan for John Cena to find her and rescue her like a damsel in distress had failed and now she felt like crying. Matt Hardy was not only a horrible savior, but he wasn't really attractive either. Maria decided that instead of sticking with these morons that she'd steal their flashlight and run off to find John.

When she found him she'd fake a scene and have him save her - just like he did every week. So Maria tackled Ashley and stole the flashlight from her hand and ran off despite Matt Hardy's calls for her to wait for him. Matt didn't catch up with her, he seemingly wanted to wait for Ashley to get up before he'd run after her. By the time Ashley did get up - she sold her injury like a baby - Maria was no where in sight. More or less because they no longer had a flash light and had to start from square one.

**...To Be Continued**

**A/N: **I'm so proud of myself - two updates in the same week? Ha, I'm just glad that I actually got an update in.


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